Let me explain myself before you read this post so you do not think I am some freak. Well I am a freak but still let me explain myself. My dreams are really weird compared to most people’s. They are usually very philosophical and stuff. This is one of the less crazy dreams. Usually they make me feel like I’m dreaming inside the book The Great Divorce. The dreams keep going through my mind during the day so I decided to start writing them out. Of course, I doubt this is exactly how my dreams went. Some of it is most likely from my daydreaming as well. Also, I want to clarify that in these dreams I talk to God but I do not think these are prophetic visions from God or anything. If they are visions from God, they are either for two reasons. First to give me story ideas, or second, to tell me personally something. My own opinion is that they are my mind trying to process everything from the previous day since I am taking philosophical classes and always reading C.S. Lewis.
The only person you need to know if it is the one named Search. If you are close to me, you have probably heard me talk about him. He is the picture in my head of Jesus that has stuck since I was a child. I saw a picture of a young man in red robes riding without a saddle on a red horse through the woods searching for something. Ever since then he comes to mind when I think of Jesus. Anyways, be warned that you are about to enter the weird things that go on in my head.
Suddenly, the river and valley began to melt away or blow away in the wind. It is hard to describe. It was like when wet paint on a painting is smudged by the artist or the wind. The landscape went blurred all around me until all the colors mixed together. They finally began to separate again but this time with greater brilliance and beauty. I found myself in what appeared to be a garden or orchard. Blossoming trees surround Lewis, who I continually checked to make sure he had not disappeared, and I. They seemed to be naturally cultivated as if Gaia herself tended to them. The fruits upon their branches made my stomach growl. What really struck me though was how everything looked like the perfection of its form. I finally knew I had never seen a true tree until that moment nor a true river till then. I began to wonder if my life had been a dream and this was the true reality. I turned to Lewis and was about to ask him something when I noticed he looked like a ghost. It took me back. I looked at myself then and found that I looked the same. I thought I had become a shadow. Finally, I was able to ask Lewis my question, “Is this heaven?”
He softly laughed and replied, “Of course, not.”
“Then where are we? What is this place?”
“This is a world much like what earth would have been if it never fell.”
“But everything here makes our world look like a dream. It could not be anywhere on earth or in our universe.” I said.
“You are right.” Lewis replied, “It does make the world look like a dream. At least it does so to the world at the point in history you live in.”
I became very confused as Lewis continued, “As sin grows in the world, it steels from reality till the world is little more than a dream or thought compared to what it was or could have been.”
“How could someone’s actions actually change reality? That does not sound logically possible.”
“Sin is more than a person’s actions.” Lewis explained, “It is a spirit of disobedience which lingers on the human race. When a man commit adultery against his wife, the action is sinful meaning it is sin-full or filled with sin. It is not sin itself. Sin has been at that man’s door longer than he had even been thinking of cheating. So when sin penetrated into humanity is destroyed everything even their reality.”
“Are you saying that sin is an actual being? Do you mean Satan?” I asked trying to understand more.
“It is not a being of intelligence as you are thinking of it. It is no angel or demon or god. It controls Satan like a paw but only exists as long as it is fueled by those it controls. It is the very essence of being apart from God, and apart from God their is no reality so this is why it eats away at reality as it does. But let us put off this discussion for a time. I have something for you to see.”
He led me through the orchard which became more beautiful every moment. I began to forget the dream of a world I came from. We walked for some time. I looked around but trees were the dominating feature of the land. No mountains stood in the distance and the ground in the orchard was flat. This was the one and only feature of it that reminded me of home. We finally walked into a clearing which was partially surrounded by flowers and plants to one side, which I believe was the north compared to where the sun was shining. The sun was odd there. It was bigger and brighter than ours, yet you could look strait at it without it hurting your eyes. A river ran straight through the clearing with rocky banks. I was about to go up and get a drink mostly because I wanted to feel it and taste it. Would it taste more real or more soothing on the throat than the water of our world? I wanted to find out, but suddenly, I stopped in my tracks as I noticed a naked woman sitting on the banks of the river. You would think I felt awkward randomly seeing a naked woman in the woods, but it all of a sudden felt like the naturalist thing in the world. I do not mean that I wanted to take my clothes off or anything. It just felt like when you look at the picture of a naked infant on a birth announcement. I could not see her face at the moment but she truly embodied the essence of beauty to the point that since then this woman has become my test of beauty for all things. I do not think I could tell you what race she was because it seemed as if she was of a race I had never seen before. She was fair skinned but you could tell by her face when she turned that she was not Caucasian. It was something you had to see for yourself in order to understand. As everything else in this place, she seemed to be more real than anything. I began to feel like a ghost as I looked at her.
“Who is she?” I asked Lewis while still looking at her.
He replied with a smile, “Go ask her yourself.” I could tell by his expression that he knew the answer but wanted me to find something out for myself. So I began to approach the woman. I thought she surely had already noticed me before, but as I approached and she turned around, you could tell she was surprised to see someone else. She looked confused, probably because Lewis and I looked like ghosts and had clothes on. “Hello.” she said as I approached, “Who are you?”
“I’m a stranger here, but don’t be afraid. I am not going to hurt you.” She looked puzzled by my answer.
“Why would I think you would hurt me?” I did not know if she was serious, but the look on her face seemed sincere.
Unsure of how to answer, I said, ” Well, it’s just that sometimes people get worried when a stranger comes up to them.” Her face made it seem like I was speaking a different language. I continued though, “Who are you?”
“I am Psyche and my husband is named Bardia. He is somewhere in the forest.”
“Are you the only two that live here?”
“Yes. Search comes and visits daily but he does not live here.” I looked to Lewis who remained quiet. She knew Search. How?
“How do you know Search?” I asked her.
“Well he created us of course.” She answered as if I asked an question with an obvious answer.
“You mean, neither you or your husband have parents?”
“Yeah, like who gave birth to you and raised you.”
She was very puzzled and stood quiet for a second. It seems she had never heard of the concept. “I guess you would say, we were ‘born’ from Search. He created us.”
I could not believe it! Was this Eve I was talking to? But if she was, how did she not know what a parent was? Wasn’t Adam and hers first command to populate the earth? “You are so blessed to live here, Psyche?” I said.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Well you don’t have to deal with fallen humans or sin or the devil.”
“What are you talking about? You aren’t making sense.”
“Meaning no evil or motivations contrary to God.”
“If something is contrary to God, it does not exist.”
“It does in the world I come from.”
“What is there except the will of God? Nothing.” She replied. I began to think she was sounding ignorant. I looked over my shoulder to glance at Lewis, but he was gone. Then I turned back to Psyche, but she had disappeared as well. Suddenly, Search appeared in front of me from among the trees. He was dressed as always in his red robes leading his horse by the reins. “Search!” I cried out.
“Hello.” he replied in that calming voice, “How was your conversation?”
“Confusing, but where did Lewis go?”
“I sent him away. He did his part.”
“Was Psyche actually Eve?”
“Of course not. Two flowers cannot be one and the same.”
“Who was she then? You created her, right?”
“I did create her but not for your world. Bardia and Psyche are of this world is far different from yours.”
“But didn’t Lewis say this was the world before it fell?”
“No he did not.” Search said. I was getting confused. We sat by the stream and it seemed like our conversation was only two seconds long yet a thousand years at the same time. Search continued as he took let his horse go graze in the clearing, “He said it was like your world if it had not fallen. He never said it was your world. I created more creatures than those of your world and more universes than the one you live in.”
“Why? I thought you loved humanity more than anything.”
“I love them great but I am free to love who I wish and to whatever degree I wish.”
“So Psyche is the Eve of another world.”
“You could say that.”
“She seemed pretty ignorant.” I said.
“In what way?”
“She can’t even see that their is existence apart from you. It may be evil but it is there.”
Search then said, “She is not ignorant but innocent.”
His statement made no sense to me as I asked, “What’s the difference?”
“In your world, ignorance and innocence are thought to have unified. To be ignorant is to be unaware of truths around you. Innocence may include ignorance such as in your world, but it does not require it.” I was officially confused and Search could see it. So he continued, “You see, when a child does not know what lying is or even of it’s existence, that does not mean he is not able to lie. Therefore, he is innocently ignorant. He does not choose to be ignorant but is ignorant by nature. His ignorance is part of his innocence. Here in this world lying does not exist.”
“This makes no sense. How can lying not exist?”
“Easily. It once did not exist on earth. Lying is a form of sin which did not enter earth till after your father and mother rebelled. So you see since sin has not entered here, the ignorance of it has not either. Therefore, the creatures here are innocent without ignorance.”
“I do not completely understand it all.”
“You are not meant to understand it all.”
“I’m just curious.”
“And I created you with curiosity but do not let it harm the contentment you were meant to have with what the Lord gave you. Curiosity mixed with pride is what led your father and mother into sin.” Search explained. I felt I was finally starting to understand.
“Yes, but may I ask another question?”
“Of course.” he said with his soothing voice. I realized why John said in Revelation that His voice was ‘like the roar of many waters.’ His words tasted fresh as spring water but also resounded commanding as the great waterfalls.
“You said that Adam and Eve were innocent without ignorance but how will mankind be innocent in that way after death?”
“Mankind won’t be innocent as they were.”
“Why not, Lord?”
“When the allowed sin to enter, could never enter the Garden again even after they return to the Father. That era of history is gone and will never return for humanity.”
“Will it stay like this here or will they fall as we did?”
“It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority.”
“So what will humanity be like after you return if not as we were before?”
“Have you not read the Scriptures? Look in your own life. I do not just take things back but make them new as well. There is a reason I allowed humanity to go through the fall. Let me show you.” He stood up and put out his hand to help me up.
I will pick it up again later. For now, let me know what you think. Glory to God.