People continually want a simply answer to this question and if a “Yes” or “No” is not given they assume you are simply trying to get around the question. The real fact is that it is a complex question with a complex answer. When a person asks this question, it must be deciphered what the terms Christian and gay actually mean or are thought to mean by the one who asked. Before anything, it has to be revealed what makes a person a Christian. Christian cannot simply mean that you believe that Jesus existed or that he was God. This of course is a big part of it though. Is it that you must “accept Christ into your heart”? I do not think so because never in Scripture is this phrase mentioned and it also leaves out a critical part of what Christians call “conversion.” Throughout Scripture we find two points that are continually connected to this idea of “conversion.” They are repentance and believing. David Platt defines conversion as the “divinely enabled response of individuals to the gospel in which they turn from their sin and themselves (repent) and trust in Jesus as Savior and Lord (believe).” So in this way, there are two parts which begin the road of being a Christian. If a man’s Christianity ends at this point, then most likely the man has not reached this point or Christianity at all. But how can a man know if this event in his life was legitimate or insincere? He can find it out through the presence of a process called sanctification in his life. When his life, actions, and desires begin to change to become more like those of Christ. So when answering this question this is the idea of a Christian that must be in mind. A person who has sincerely repented and believed in Jesus as his God and Savior and is now continually going through sanctification as his desires, actions, and life in general begin to transform into the image of Christ.
Though even with this idea of a Christian, it must be established what the question implies by the term gay. There are two different things this term could be referring to in the question. First of all, it may mean any person with same-sex attractions no matter what his feelings or views are towards those attractions. The second one is a person who holds a self-proclaimed identity of a gay man or woman and therefore practices homosexuality openly. These terms make a big difference in the answer of the question. If the first definition is implied, then it is without a doubt likely and possible for a person to be Christian and gay. No Christian is without worldly struggles that continue to tempt and try to bring him down. If any man says he doesn’t have any such struggles then he is a liar and that is his worldly struggle.
Now if the second definition of “gay” is implied in the question, then the answer cannot be a simply “yes” or “no.” The answer is much more complicated then that and deals with many more factors. Many Christians may disagree with me in my answer saying I am too easy on sinful action while non-Christians may say I am being judgment. Actually those non-Christians are already probably saying such things. The issue is where the person’s heart is at in his walk with Christ. No man deals with all of his issues the moment after conversion nor a man realize all of the sin in his life immediately after becoming a Christian. I feel that if God were to have shown us all the areas of our sinful nature at the moment of conversion, it would scare us out of pushing forward. This does not mean that he hides truth and lulls us into Christianity. Some people He actually may do that to, but instead He does not deal with sins and issues until the proper time and place. So I doubt every homosexual believes homosexuality is a sin at the moment of their conversion. There are many I have met who said they had to put homosexuality aside in the issue of Christianity for a while after becoming Christian because they needed to figure other things out first. Some people are just simply ignorant of the fact that the Scriptures call homosexuality a sin. One Christian man that I know actually became a Christian at a gay Church. It was not till a year later that God softened his heart on the issue of homosexuality. The main point is that a person can be ignorant of Scriptures position on homosexuality and still be a Christian, but a man who ignores Scripture’s stance may need to question the sincerity of his faith. Above all, the question is: What direction is your life going in? If your life is aimed at Christ and becoming more like him, then God will help you with the issue of homosexuality and all sin. If you pick and choose what parts of Christianity you wish to apply to your life, then there is great concern and I will pray for you even though I may not know you. I do not say this in any sense of moral superiority but in understanding because I once found myself picking and choosing what parts of Christianity I desired and threw away the rest of it yet Christ awakened my heart.