Tag Archives: homosexuality

“There’s no one in my church that deals with homosexuality”

I think one of the biggest things the enemy has used to keep the Church from ministry in the area of homosexuality is the lie, “No one in our church deals with it so we don’t need to do that kind of ministry.” In relation when churches say things like the comment above, they are unknowingly saying “and we will make sure no one in our congregation will deal with it.” Research shows that one-third of gays and lesbians regularly attend church, going to churches across a wide spectrum of denominations and backgrounds. This means that it is very likely that there are people in your church who secretly deal with homosexuality along with the multiple people who are affected by it as a family member or loved one of a struggler. Surveys also suggest that between 60 and 70 percent of churchgoers know a loved one who has homosexual attractions. As W.P. Campbell said, “If those who experience same-sex attractions don’t sense compassion within us, why would they choose to risk themselves by opening up to us?” When a church decides not do deal with the issue or thinks that other ministries will take care of it, then they leave people to be washed away by a culture without opening up about their attractions.

Ministry to those with same-sex attractions is one of the weakest sections of church ministry. Many churches who have members with SSA send them outside the church to deal with the issue when in fact outside ministries should be sending them to the church for help. This is an area that cannot be left only to those who have dealt with homosexuality. It needs to be embraced by all of the Church. There are people silently suffering in your church who don’t know who they can turn to about their struggles. They need both the truth and grace of Christ. We need to stop being ignorant and begin acknowledging that people in our churches are greatly affected by the issue of homosexuality, whether as friends, family, or strugglers themselves. Yet it is not enough to simply acknowledge that people like this exist because many people acknowledge it and then try to thrown them into some group to shut them up. Ministry begins when we connect the brokenness in our own hearts with the brokenness in the hearts of others. If we could have a humble heart, acknowledging that we don’t know everything about the issue, and then be willing to come along side people and help them through their struggles, we will shine like stars in a dark world.


Born This Way?

Honestly, I think the debate over whether people are born gay or develop a homosexual orientation has very little relevance or weight on whether or not it is possible to change or on whether you can live openly gay as a Christian. Yet it has become such a major issue that I felt I needed to address it here. First of all, what do scholars believe develops homosexual attractions in a person?

The American Psychology Association itself has stated,

“There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay, or lesbian orientation. Although much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors. Many think that nature and nurture both play complex roles; most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation.”*

While I disagree with the APA on many things and many actions of theirs, I think I agree with almost all of their statement here. I question what the last statement means when it says, “most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation.” If they mean that people do not experience a choice in the original development of their attractions then I agree. An orientation is much more than simply the attractions though. It is an identity and is therefore a choice even if it is strongly influence by those around the person. We all choose our identity.

It is very unlikely that attractions are developed solely through genetics or experience. There have been many cases of identical twins who turn out to have different sexual attractions. Yet there are also many cases of siblings who go through the same experiences and environment yet end up with different attractions as well. Therefore, most likely it is a mix of many factors. My own theory after much study is that there are genetics that make individuals more likely to have same-sex attractions, yet a majority of it is developmental and social.

I probably have a lot of Christians shocked that I said there is probably a genetic factor. What does it matter? There is this idea in our society that if it is natural then it is good. Most of that comes from the Renaissance which began glorifying things of natures. This is good in some ways but nature is not perfect especially in humans. Actually, it makes a lot of sense from the Christian perspective for there to be a genetic factor to homosexuality. Romans 5:12 says that we are naturally evil because of Adam. Genetics are flawed and many issues can have genetic causes such as alcoholism. Yet biology and genetics can be shaped.

“But why would God put it in your genetics if it is sinful?” Well first of all, God does not only control genetics but he also controls environment and development. Yet we do not hold him accountable for those things. Romans 5:12-17 shows us though that it is not God’s fault for our sinful nature but Adam’s.

We also need to spend less time pointing figures and more time taking responsibility for what has been given to you. A millionaire may end up spending all his money and therefore leave his children broke after dying at an early age, but the children are going to get no where while they complain about being given a rough hand. Instead they need to decide what they will do with the hand they were dealt. I do understand that we need to figure out where we have been to figure out where we are going to go, but after a while you need to just head forward. Fight the good fight and finish the race.

So to answer Lady Gage, I was born a sinner but I have been born again as a follower of Christ. I may still deal with my sinful nature, but I am being sanctified and looked forward to when I no longer struggle with any sin after I die.


Was Jesus Tempted With Homosexuality?

The Bible says that Jesus was tempted in every way yet did not sin and therefore he can relate to us in our struggles. But the question is, does that mean Jesus was tempted with homosexuality? John Piper gave an awesome answer here that I wanted to share with you guys.


Will We Stand For the Abused?

I made this video a while ago and really want to share it cause it hits my heart deeply. I can speak personally about about the issue of bullying because I was bullied for a long time in grade school to the point that I had to switch schools in fifth grade. I was called “a girl” “fag” etc. Many of us in the church feel like it is not our place to get involved yet looked at Jesus and what He did. He stood between a woman and her accusers. He could have been stoned but still he stood up.


Can You Be Christian and Gay?

People continually want a simply answer to this question and if a “Yes” or “No” is not given they assume you are simply trying to get around the question. The real fact is that it is a complex question with a complex answer. When a person asks this question, it must be deciphered what the terms Christian and gay actually mean or are thought to mean by the one who asked. Before anything, it has to be revealed what makes a person a Christian. Christian cannot simply mean that you believe that Jesus existed or that he was God. This of course is a big part of it though. Is it that you must “accept Christ into your heart”? I do not think so because never in Scripture is this phrase mentioned and it also leaves out a critical part of what Christians call “conversion.” Throughout Scripture we find two points that are continually connected to this idea of “conversion.” They are repentance and believing. David Platt defines conversion as the “divinely enabled response of individuals to the gospel in which they turn from their sin and themselves (repent) and trust in Jesus as Savior and Lord (believe).” So in this way, there are two parts which begin the road of being a Christian. If a man’s Christianity ends at this point, then most likely the man has not reached this point or Christianity at all. But how can a man know if this event in his life was legitimate or insincere? He can find it out through the presence of a process called sanctification in his life. When his life, actions, and desires begin to change to become more like those of Christ. So when answering this question this is the idea of a Christian that must be in mind. A person who has sincerely repented and believed in Jesus as his God and Savior and is now continually going through sanctification as his desires, actions, and life in general begin to transform into the image of Christ.

Though even with this idea of a Christian, it must be established what the question implies by the term gay.  There are two different things this term could be referring to in the question. First of all, it may mean any person with same-sex attractions no matter what his feelings or views are towards those attractions. The second one is a person  who holds a self-proclaimed identity of a gay man or woman and therefore practices homosexuality openly. These terms make a big difference in the answer of the question. If the first definition is implied, then it is without a doubt likely and possible for a person to be Christian and gay. No Christian is without worldly struggles that continue to tempt and try to bring him down.  If any man says he doesn’t have any such struggles then he is a liar and that is his worldly struggle.

Now if the second definition of “gay” is implied in the question, then the answer cannot be a simply “yes” or “no.” The answer is much more complicated then that and deals with many more factors. Many Christians may disagree with me in my answer saying I am too easy on sinful action while non-Christians may say I am being judgment. Actually those non-Christians are already probably saying such things. The issue is where the person’s heart is at in his walk with Christ. No man deals with all of his issues the moment after conversion nor a man realize all of the sin in his life immediately after becoming a Christian. I feel that if God were to have shown us all the areas of our sinful nature at the moment of conversion, it would scare us out of pushing forward. This does not mean that he hides truth and lulls us into Christianity. Some people He actually may do that to, but instead He does not deal with sins and issues until the proper time and place. So I doubt every homosexual believes homosexuality is a sin at the moment of their conversion. There are many I have met who said they had to put homosexuality aside in the issue of Christianity for a while after becoming Christian because they needed to figure other things out first. Some people are just simply ignorant of the fact that the Scriptures call homosexuality a sin. One Christian man that I know actually became a Christian at a gay Church. It was not till a year later that God softened his heart on the issue of homosexuality. The main point is that a person can be ignorant of Scriptures position on homosexuality and still be a Christian, but a man who ignores Scripture’s stance may need to question the sincerity of his faith. Above all, the question is: What direction is your life going in? If your life is aimed at Christ and becoming more like him, then God will help you with the issue of homosexuality and all sin. If you pick and choose what parts of Christianity you wish to apply to your life, then there is great concern and I will pray for you even though I may not know you. I do not say this in any sense of moral superiority but in understanding because I once found myself picking and choosing what parts of Christianity I desired and threw away the rest of it yet Christ awakened my heart.


Changing Sexual Orientation Does Not Matter

The main goal of my ministry or any ministry to the gay community should NOT be to get people to “change” their sexual orientation. If this is the main goal of ministries then its worth is nothing because in Christianity that is no where near the central mission. If I have ever made it seem that this is the goal of my ministry, I beg for forgiveness from God because that means I have miss placed priorities. If any person changes their behavior but does not receive forgiveness from Christ, it is worthless. How can we strive for sanctification without receiving justification? It cannot happen. Without being made right with God through repentance and forgiveness of sins, no character can truly change. They will simply be changes upon the surface with the same dead heart. A body cannot begin to live again until it has been brought back to life!! Without Christ, every man is condemned to hell. It is not straight people that go to heaven. Both straight and gay people go to hell unless they are redeemed through Christ.

“But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ,….” Philippians 3:7-8

Nothing in life matters until Christ has entered the scene of our lives. Solomon found what happens when we strive for sanctification before finding justification.

“Then I saw that there is more gain in wisdom than in folly, as there is more gain in light than in darkness….And yet I perceived that the same event happens to all of them. Then I said in my heart, ‘What happens to the fool will happen to me also. Why then have I been so very wise?’ And I said in my heart that this also is vanity.” Ecclesiastes 4:8

When a man is give the gift of repentance and believes in Jesus as his Lord and Savior, his life will naturally be transformed. Many of my brothers and sisters in Christ, who I know, that have left the gay life did not do so till after they became Christians. Many of them became Christians either still believing homosexuality was not a sin or not knowing what to think on the issue. Does this mean their repentance was not sincere? Of course it was sincere. This I am sure of because God does not reveal all of our sins to us at the moment of salvation. If He did, I think it would scare us from trusting Him with our lives. Instead, He reveals our sin gradually as He transforms us into the image of Christ. “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18

The hardest part of course is not realizing our sin but giving over our sin to the Lord to become more like Him. We must always remember that we do not work in order to be saved but that our works come forth from being saved. As David Platt said at Secret Church, “We must not be legalistic which leads to contamination and condemnation. Work that is fueled by the flesh to earn favor before God is negative and unholy. Work that is fueled by faith to bring glory to God is the product of our salvation.”


Evangelizing to the Gay Community

It seems that the Church has such a hard time reaching out to the gay community. There are a lot of reasons. While the Church has got better over the past few years, there is still A LOT of room for growth. Especially as hostility arises towards anyone who does not agree that homosexuality is a godly lifestyle. Churches has even stopped their support of ministries that reach out to the gay community because the churches are afraid of persecution. Actually, I wouldn’t even call it persecution. They are afraid of the world hating them. Well isn’t that what Christ said would happen? Of course! He said that we would “be hated by all for [His] name’s sake.” We need to show love to the gay community and evangelize to them as Christ would. I understand that many do not even know how to talk to people of the gay community about Christ or anything. You do not need to have struggled with same-sex attractions to relate with them. In some way, you are probably a more powerful tool to the gay community because you never struggled with it. The reason is that many in the gay community hate those who have come out of the lifestyle. They think of us as “brainwashed,” “bigots,” and “enemies.” Those labels are not put as harshly on Christians who have never struggled with the attractions.

So I wanted to give some advice from personal experience onevangelizing to the gay community. There are certain things you need to remember, understand, and implement when talking with the people of the gay community. Many of these things apply to encounters with almost all nonChristians. First of all, you need to remember that…

  1. they have fallen short of God’s glory just like all of us. They are not worse sinners because they deal with homosexuality. We were in the same boat as them before we were saved by Christ. Do not think of them as being completely different from the rest of the world. Instead, think of them as a section of the world. Show them that you do not think of them as any different from any one else. This will make a greater impact on them.
  2. they probably already know the Christianity believes homosexuality is a sin. You do not need to always tell them that you think homosexuality is wrong. Many homosexuals come from a Christian background and therefore have heard many times before that homosexuality is a sin. They need love not condemnation.
  3. they are not attracted to every person of the same sex. I cannot tell you how many (guys especially) that get so worried about being friends with a homosexual of the same sex. I promise you that people with same-sex attractions do not have a desire to sleep with every person of the same gender that they know. Give them more credit than that. By hugging them, you won’t be making them lust. They are not animals completely focused on their sexual appetite. I promise you.
  4. you are most likely not going to win them over in a conversation. Unlike what many people such as Todd Friel would say, a majority of people do not come to Christ through open air preaching and one time conversations. If they do, it is usually because God has been working in their life, a long time before that moment. Usually, people come to Christ through their friends and family. Relationships are the key to reaching the unsaved. Sometimes on the spot conversations do work but usually they only work when God has been working on the person through relationships.

Along with all of this, here are a few things to implement and practice in your relationships with same-sex strugglers.

  1. Let your actions proceed words. Arguments and debates are a favorite of the gay community especially with Christians. While words and discussions help at times, you need to make sure your primary tool of evangelism is your actions. Be there for them when they need you. Then when clear opportunities arise for discussion, use it tell them about God’s amazing love.
  2. Show them God the gracious and merciful before anything else. I was wondering how accurate this point would actually be simply because the gay community are extremely bent on justice and equality. Yet, after thinking about it, I think it is extremely true. They have been taught to understand God as this judge who sits on the throne simply condemning people. They need to see him as gracious, loving, and merciful. Then they need to understand that God’s judgment is not unjust. Some of this they will learn on their own, but show them God love through your actions. If they desire to talk about God, reveal to them that everything He does is just both His mercy and punishment. He loves everyone and desires no one to be separated from Him.

Last but not least, I wanted to point out that even within the gay community there are people at many different stages of life. Here are some worth noting. Not everyone fits into one or any of these.

  1. The Relative Activist is usually the main one you see behind the activist campaigns and such. They usually call themselves relativists but their position as activists kind of counter it. By being activists for civil rights, their actions show that they believe in a universal truth and right. These people have usually grown a sore on their heart towards Christianity. Your actions need to show them that Christians are not always the hateful hypocrites they think.
  2. The Gay Christian usually has had problems in the past in making peace between their sexuality and faith. He could not discount either because he felt he was born gay and his faith was too foundational in his life. I would not automatically say that the Gay Christian is not actually a Christian. It depends on whether his acceptance of homosexuality is through ignorance or denial. I cannot speak on it myself. Only God knows for certain. They need to see that God does see homosexuality as a sin but that does not mean he hates the homosexual.
  3. The Struggler has almost always already accepted Christian and decided he does not want to live as a homosexual anymore. The main thing the Struggler usually needs is a brother or sister in Christ (preferably of the same gender) to come along side and support him. He needs accountability, love, and affirmation. We as the body of Christ are called to give that to each other.